May 09, 2008

All of these lines across my face

The Story — Brandi Carlile
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you


So far, my May is turning out to be a big drag. I didn't ever imagine that I'd still be unemployed. I guess I shouldn't beat myself up too hard about it, country slipping to recession and all. But geez, 5 months?
All of the stress of my financial downslide has caused me to completely ignore the fact that I'm turning 36 in a week-and-a-half. I certainly don't have enough cash to actually celebrate my birthday this year, that's for sure. Maybe someone will buy me a beer? Or two? That'd be great.
I've sunk pretty low in the past couple of days, but at the same time, I'm hanging on to the things that I know are really important. I'm trying to be gentle with myself, allow myself time to grieve when I'm alone. Pick myself up and pull myself together when I'm not.
Still, turning 36 has got me pondering so much about my life today, and how I've gotten to this exact point in time. Despite things not being exactly how I'd like them, I get the sense that they are exactly as they're supposed to be, because each dark feeling is accompanied by a new insight that sheds new light, helping me to shift my perspective.
Today, I'm most grateful that I have someone to share my stories with — who shares hers in return.

May 01, 2008

Sapphic lawsuit

Happy May Day everybody! And Happy Beltane! You can read all about my fondness for this conglomeration of holidays and celebrations here.
I heard this on my clock radio this morning and just had to share. Apparently, the inhabitants of the Isle of Lesbos are peeved and embarrassed about the common use of the word "lesbian" to describe gay women — thus preventing them from calling themselves "Lesbians."
This lawsuit is like the inhabitants of the City of Chicago suing the filmmakers of "The Untouchables" for use of the phrase "the Chicago way."